As Erin posted earlier, J has come home from school. My kids are done spending a night or 2 at Grandma's, so we now officially have all 6 ( maybe even 7 or 8 if a friend or 2 comes over) kids in the house at the same time, with not even school to distract them. The past few days I have taken stock of what our kids do to "waste" time and I have come to mainly ONE conclusion....technology.
Oh come on, how many electronic distractions can one household contain??? you ask.
In this house we have 2 TVs, one with DVR (I know, not too bad, but wait I am just getting started). Oops, make that 3 TVs. I forgot about the TV in the exercise room, nobody really goes in there, that one has a DVR too. 4 gaming systems. Only one desktop computer, but there are 6 laptops, some come and go as menfolk go to work and back, but most stay right here in this house getting passed around from person to person, occasionally a new one comes in when a friend comes over to "play". Counting the handheld game systems and mobile phones would be pointless as there is just no way to keep track of them. And today I took a couple of kids to see a movie because they were bored.
Of course we have plenty of other things to do or play with inside and lots of warm snow clothes for them to wear so they could go outside. But those are not the things they seem to find to do or play with. Why? That's a interesting question, isn't it? Maybe they chose electronics because we do..us adults are either on a computer or watching TV, but really no where near as much as the kids these last few days. And I do catch an adult actually reading a newspaper, magazine or even a book, from time to time. I think the kids choose technology because it is easier. It is easier to sit down in front of a monitor than get a game, toy , or project out that you have to clean up when you are done. It is easier than suiting up to head outside and do anything slightly physical. It is easier than thinking of anything else.
Is all this technology use a bad thing? That is what I am trying to figure out. I think maybe not all bad, but certainly not all that good either. At least we know it will come to an end, either because school will start back up or because the single wireless connection will protest it's abuse. ;)
Cara
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Working Hard or Hardly Working
I remember a car I had that needed a little encouragement to get started. When I put the key in the ignition, I had to pat the dash board gently and tell the car I believed in it, that it COULD start even if it was hard. I appreciated that car getting me places and now, with 10 people in the house, I have taken that same gratitude with the appliances.
The ice dispenser was the first to shout NO. Luckily he did not align successfully with the ice maker, so we have ice, it just doesn't come out of the front of the frig in the way us spoiled people have grown accustomed.
The microwave teases us just to remind us that he's got an important role that needs to be acknowledged. Some days he works fine and others, he makes us literally push all his buttons to see which one does the trick. Some days we're down to just the popcorn button. He can't see we're warming up veggies or tepid coffee and not actually making popcorn, so we feel we've still got some power over him and not vice versa. What he may or may not know is that an unused spare sits in the basement, ready to cross the picket line should he completely strike. We will not give in to terrorists.
The dishwasher is like the guy on Survivor who can catch fish. Everyone appreciates him FOR SURE, but knows it's possible to live on rice if needed. I am definitely verbally validating the dishwasher as I load it twice a day, much like the procedure for getting my old car to start. But I know if it surrenders to the workload, there are ten pairs of ready-to-be-dish-pan hands.
Our hero is the washing machine, chugging and sloshing with its unlikely mix of king size sheets and tiny socks with skid-proof bottoms. Should it strike between loads, we would be scattering to the laundromat in between grocery runs, another unpopular necessity.
So thank you world-wide, locally based, appliance manufacturer, for employing Brother-in-law R, many of my friends and for making appliances that stand firm in the midst of mountains of dishes and fabric. You are keeping the machine of this house running smooth.
The ice dispenser was the first to shout NO. Luckily he did not align successfully with the ice maker, so we have ice, it just doesn't come out of the front of the frig in the way us spoiled people have grown accustomed.
The microwave teases us just to remind us that he's got an important role that needs to be acknowledged. Some days he works fine and others, he makes us literally push all his buttons to see which one does the trick. Some days we're down to just the popcorn button. He can't see we're warming up veggies or tepid coffee and not actually making popcorn, so we feel we've still got some power over him and not vice versa. What he may or may not know is that an unused spare sits in the basement, ready to cross the picket line should he completely strike. We will not give in to terrorists.
The dishwasher is like the guy on Survivor who can catch fish. Everyone appreciates him FOR SURE, but knows it's possible to live on rice if needed. I am definitely verbally validating the dishwasher as I load it twice a day, much like the procedure for getting my old car to start. But I know if it surrenders to the workload, there are ten pairs of ready-to-be-dish-pan hands.
Our hero is the washing machine, chugging and sloshing with its unlikely mix of king size sheets and tiny socks with skid-proof bottoms. Should it strike between loads, we would be scattering to the laundromat in between grocery runs, another unpopular necessity.
So thank you world-wide, locally based, appliance manufacturer, for employing Brother-in-law R, many of my friends and for making appliances that stand firm in the midst of mountains of dishes and fabric. You are keeping the machine of this house running smooth.
Monday, December 20, 2010
The New Arrival
College Dude came home to the new arrangement. Surprise! Your room, well, it's kind like, uh, well, you see your cousins - remember how much you love them, right??? We'll they took over your room because . . . .
Poor guy. Over a year ago, when he left for college, his youngest brother observed the required 30 days of polite waiting and then TOOK OVER his room. He didn't just move in. Out! went the old furniture. Out! went the wall color. All replaced by a bedroom literally fit for a (middle school ) king. (see previous post). College Dude's stuff was politely relocated to the room lovingly referred to as the "nursery" since that is where they all started. Son P slept in the nursery for 12 years. It was his time to pounce on the abandoned real estate.
College Dude adjusted to his return to the nursery with a nice futon and bookshelves and called it his. Served him well for those rare occasions he came home even in the summer.
And now this. The futon is out of the nursery, replaced by girly twin beds with flowers and butterflies, dolls, doll necessities and an Appaloosa. There are colors in there new to any of the boys' rooms. Pink animal print patterns this girly mom could only imagine in her boy-birthing dreams. And Dora! Where did SHE come from?
The futon is now in a corner. In the Basement. His closet is the laundry room where he keeps his favorite clothes anyway. College Dude shrugged and unpacked. He'll fit in nicely while he's home for break.
Poor guy. Over a year ago, when he left for college, his youngest brother observed the required 30 days of polite waiting and then TOOK OVER his room. He didn't just move in. Out! went the old furniture. Out! went the wall color. All replaced by a bedroom literally fit for a (middle school ) king. (see previous post). College Dude's stuff was politely relocated to the room lovingly referred to as the "nursery" since that is where they all started. Son P slept in the nursery for 12 years. It was his time to pounce on the abandoned real estate.
College Dude adjusted to his return to the nursery with a nice futon and bookshelves and called it his. Served him well for those rare occasions he came home even in the summer.
And now this. The futon is out of the nursery, replaced by girly twin beds with flowers and butterflies, dolls, doll necessities and an Appaloosa. There are colors in there new to any of the boys' rooms. Pink animal print patterns this girly mom could only imagine in her boy-birthing dreams. And Dora! Where did SHE come from?
The futon is now in a corner. In the Basement. His closet is the laundry room where he keeps his favorite clothes anyway. College Dude shrugged and unpacked. He'll fit in nicely while he's home for break.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
From Comedy to Drama - You Knew it was Coming
That darn learning curve. That frustrating life lesson that comes from experience. We knew this would happen as we each learn to bend and give. WE knew it - we're adults who have adjusted many times to many things. The kids may not have expected anything beyond the vacations we've shared here when it's summer and temporary. And someone is playing cruise director. The cruise director left the ship, replaced by two referees who are clocking hours toward fictional psychology degrees.
Son P has been the baby of the family all his life and has embraced the stereotypes associated with it. His older brothers call him spoiled and golden and can tell you at any moment what privileges he's had ions earlier than them. Given his age and responsibility level, he's had lots of time to himself, choosing his schedule, maintaining minimal chores along with acceptable schoolwork. His accessibility to permissible media choices is numerous. His ability to share his world, time and media --- well, go back to the beginning of this paragraph.
The truth is everything we, and Son P, have been given is a gift provided by our loving Creator. He's blessed Hubby M with an ability to run a business or two, and the financial brains (perhaps stemming from his German heritage) to spend little and pay off quick. This house is full of things. They're not really ours, it just seems that way if you are a boy of middle school age.
It's painful to watch my son inflict pain on someone else. It's also painful to think I may be the catalyst. I've prayed for my sons to increase in their Christ-like behavior by being compassionate and generous. I've asked God to SHOW them their character weaknesses and TEACH them the right way. Any experienced praying mother knows that type of prayer is a wildcard. God can answer with a bolt of kindness inspired by a lesson read or a dose of a true life where a child is repeatedly pushed beyond his short, selfish limits, only recognizing his sin when he looks beyond himself to the eyes of the victim he created.
Cara and I are good referees and good communicators, easily admitting our own weaknesses, particularly now that they are glaring at us. Compassion and generosity are good lessons for grown ups, too.
Son P has been the baby of the family all his life and has embraced the stereotypes associated with it. His older brothers call him spoiled and golden and can tell you at any moment what privileges he's had ions earlier than them. Given his age and responsibility level, he's had lots of time to himself, choosing his schedule, maintaining minimal chores along with acceptable schoolwork. His accessibility to permissible media choices is numerous. His ability to share his world, time and media --- well, go back to the beginning of this paragraph.
The truth is everything we, and Son P, have been given is a gift provided by our loving Creator. He's blessed Hubby M with an ability to run a business or two, and the financial brains (perhaps stemming from his German heritage) to spend little and pay off quick. This house is full of things. They're not really ours, it just seems that way if you are a boy of middle school age.
It's painful to watch my son inflict pain on someone else. It's also painful to think I may be the catalyst. I've prayed for my sons to increase in their Christ-like behavior by being compassionate and generous. I've asked God to SHOW them their character weaknesses and TEACH them the right way. Any experienced praying mother knows that type of prayer is a wildcard. God can answer with a bolt of kindness inspired by a lesson read or a dose of a true life where a child is repeatedly pushed beyond his short, selfish limits, only recognizing his sin when he looks beyond himself to the eyes of the victim he created.
Cara and I are good referees and good communicators, easily admitting our own weaknesses, particularly now that they are glaring at us. Compassion and generosity are good lessons for grown ups, too.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Many a good comedy is made taking someone out of their normal environment and putting them in a new, quite different environment. I can tell you it's much more fun to watch it in person.
My sister's family has been here before but never in real winter. Our welcome gifts to her and her Hubby were high-efficiency snow brushes for their cars. With extenders. With scrapers. The good ones. They were not impressed. But I noticed Cara ran back into the house to get hers yesterday. I think they now understand what a loving gift it really was.
Nephew W traveled with me to run errands in a mini blizzard with his eyes wide open. What really got him were the elementary school children playing outside at recess in their snow pants and boots. It had NEVER occurred to him, or Cara for that matter, that elementary school children were not locked in their classrooms for snowy recess, but are actually pushed out the school door after bundling up.
Poor Hubby M and Son A. They got a crash course in little girls the very first morning. Son A was ambushed in the hall with B's crushing bear hug. Poor guy, he's barely agile in the morning and now he has to dodge perky girls in the hallway. Hubby M was the first one little H saw in the morning. Because he looks like an adult with a brain, she asked him to help her find clean pa*ties while she darted n*ked around Son A in the hallway. Hubby M's a helpful guy, but out of his league in the land of little girls and their Dora unmentionables. Until now, I was the only girl in the house. I keep myself covered in Michigan layers and out of the hallway. And I know where my stuff is.
But we are learning to adjust, and laugh, and share and help. Good lessons even for a comedy.
My sister's family has been here before but never in real winter. Our welcome gifts to her and her Hubby were high-efficiency snow brushes for their cars. With extenders. With scrapers. The good ones. They were not impressed. But I noticed Cara ran back into the house to get hers yesterday. I think they now understand what a loving gift it really was.
Nephew W traveled with me to run errands in a mini blizzard with his eyes wide open. What really got him were the elementary school children playing outside at recess in their snow pants and boots. It had NEVER occurred to him, or Cara for that matter, that elementary school children were not locked in their classrooms for snowy recess, but are actually pushed out the school door after bundling up.
Poor Hubby M and Son A. They got a crash course in little girls the very first morning. Son A was ambushed in the hall with B's crushing bear hug. Poor guy, he's barely agile in the morning and now he has to dodge perky girls in the hallway. Hubby M was the first one little H saw in the morning. Because he looks like an adult with a brain, she asked him to help her find clean pa*ties while she darted n*ked around Son A in the hallway. Hubby M's a helpful guy, but out of his league in the land of little girls and their Dora unmentionables. Until now, I was the only girl in the house. I keep myself covered in Michigan layers and out of the hallway. And I know where my stuff is.
But we are learning to adjust, and laugh, and share and help. Good lessons even for a comedy.
Some things are the same, but some are NOT.
Ways we are like the "Sisterwives" on TLC...
-we are both wives
-we live in the same house
-we share household duties
-we spend more time with each other than we spend with our husbands
-each couple has their own bedroom
Ways we are different than "Sisterwives" on TLC...
-we are NOT LDS members (we are Christians)
-we are NOT married to the same man
-our children are cousins ,NOT "piliglets"
-we do NOT each get our own kitchen
-we do NOT have the same last name
So as you can see we don't fit into the classic definition of a "sisterwife", but we feel like it is pretty close.... we are sisters and wives..living in the same house..doing the stay-at-home mom thing together. Keeping the laundry going no matter whose it is. Making sure that each kid gets to where they need to be and picked up again, no matter which last name they have. Planning meals, letting dogs out and in, just trying to get our lists of "to-dos" knocked down each day.
I think we have the most appealing part of the "Sisterwives" thing going...the relationship and teamwork. But we don't have to worry about that whole sharing a husband thing (Yuck!!). This is an interesting experiment.
Cara
-we are both wives
-we live in the same house
-we share household duties
-we spend more time with each other than we spend with our husbands
-each couple has their own bedroom
Ways we are different than "Sisterwives" on TLC...
-we are NOT LDS members (we are Christians)
-we are NOT married to the same man
-our children are cousins ,NOT "piliglets"
-we do NOT each get our own kitchen
-we do NOT have the same last name
So as you can see we don't fit into the classic definition of a "sisterwife", but we feel like it is pretty close.... we are sisters and wives..living in the same house..doing the stay-at-home mom thing together. Keeping the laundry going no matter whose it is. Making sure that each kid gets to where they need to be and picked up again, no matter which last name they have. Planning meals, letting dogs out and in, just trying to get our lists of "to-dos" knocked down each day.
I think we have the most appealing part of the "Sisterwives" thing going...the relationship and teamwork. But we don't have to worry about that whole sharing a husband thing (Yuck!!). This is an interesting experiment.
Cara
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tougher than sharing a husband - we share a kitchen.
I've gotten into the habit of screening my phone calls. Leave a message and I will listen to it in between loads of laundry and return your call sometime when I'm on the road. But there are some people whose calls I pick up on the first ring. One is my sister. Some calls are facts-based only. Some are emotional and some are slap-your-knee funny. Since I'm the older sister, her call on my birthday was assumed to be wishing me well, you're THAT much older than me now, yada, yada. But the tone, was different. After that call, a quiet birthday dinner and discussion with Hubby M, followed by a "family meeting" with my sons . . . . My sister and her family moved into our house with three weeks notice.
We are merging termporarily into one house, that luckily can handle the load. We combine a toddler with teens. My boys now live with girls. In age range, we go from preschool to college. The two dogs have cat people sharing door duty and offering Milk bones. The Southerners have moved north, with their ten pairs of underwear each and snow gear that has seen one week of vacation skiing.
It promises to be an adventure worthy of a TLC reality show or a least a blog to keep us out of each other's hair.
Erin
We are merging termporarily into one house, that luckily can handle the load. We combine a toddler with teens. My boys now live with girls. In age range, we go from preschool to college. The two dogs have cat people sharing door duty and offering Milk bones. The Southerners have moved north, with their ten pairs of underwear each and snow gear that has seen one week of vacation skiing.
It promises to be an adventure worthy of a TLC reality show or a least a blog to keep us out of each other's hair.
Erin
So, how did we get here?
R and I have been vacationing here at my sister's for the last 16+ years. Not only does my sister live here in snowy Michigan, but so does my Aunt, Uncle and cousins, and my Mom is only 30 mins away in South Bend, IN. So every time we have come up to visit we stay with my sister and her family, some years up to 2 weeks at a time.
In the last few years we have talked about what it would be like to move up to this area closer to my family. Then this summer, R started a job search right in the middle of our summer trip to Erin's. There is one large company with their world headquarters right here just 10 miles away from her house. So, hey, why not add them to the list of companies where he should apply for jobs? Maybe it will work out. Well it did.
Things have moved along fast from there. He got the job offer and 3 weeks later we were in MI. It took R and I a lot of discussions and prayer to decided to ask Erin if we could live with them for an undetermined time period. At first we thought he and W would head up to MI and the girls and I would stay in VA till the house was either rented or sold. But we did not like the idea of our family being separated for an undetermined time period, and paying both rent and a mortgage was not an option. We figured all we could do was ask, and pray, if the answer was no, then we would go with the original plan. But then they said yes. Now this is an adventure.
Cara
In the last few years we have talked about what it would be like to move up to this area closer to my family. Then this summer, R started a job search right in the middle of our summer trip to Erin's. There is one large company with their world headquarters right here just 10 miles away from her house. So, hey, why not add them to the list of companies where he should apply for jobs? Maybe it will work out. Well it did.
Things have moved along fast from there. He got the job offer and 3 weeks later we were in MI. It took R and I a lot of discussions and prayer to decided to ask Erin if we could live with them for an undetermined time period. At first we thought he and W would head up to MI and the girls and I would stay in VA till the house was either rented or sold. But we did not like the idea of our family being separated for an undetermined time period, and paying both rent and a mortgage was not an option. We figured all we could do was ask, and pray, if the answer was no, then we would go with the original plan. But then they said yes. Now this is an adventure.
Cara
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