We are here for a reason.

We have all tried to find and do what is God's best plan for our lives.  This move and staying here while we are transitioning is one of those times that we hoped and prayed that we were following His plan for us.  Just in the past couple of weeks, it has become very clear to me (and I think to Erin too) that we are exactly where God planned for us to be in this moment.

About 2 weeks ago, R had his gallbladder removed.  And although the surgery went very well and he was able to come home that same day, his recovery has been different than any of us anticipated.  Physically his body is healing very well however his emotions are on a totally different path to wellness.  A much slower, painful, and unpredictable path.  The support that he requires from me is very time consuming and emotionally draining at times.  But since we are living here, not just close by, but in the same house as one of the few people in my life that knows how to support me, spiritually, emotionally, and practically, has made all the difference in the world.  Having other adults in the same house that can help meet my children's needs while I am trying to meet R's is a huge burden off my heart.  Having my sister to talk through situations, concerns and frustrations with, at the smallest available moment is priceless.  If we were not living here, she would still be a major player in my support through this, but it would just not be the same.

And now just as we are beginning to see a slight lift in my support of R.  M is in need of medical attention.  Amazing!  Now, although M is not in any pain right now, and they are not quite sure what if anything is "wrong" with him (may have just been a bad tummy bug), it is my turn to support Erin.  Hopefully knowing that someone is here with her boys, making sure that they are fed, getting to where they need to be, and not alone while their mom is with their dad at the hospital, helps to lift her burden.  Although her need for support is different, it would still be very difficult for me to meet those needs if I did not live here, in the same house as her family, especially with R still in recovery mode. 

I am here, we all are, for a reason.  God's plan is always the best.

Marathon at Martins

We finally hit our compatibility wall.  Up until now, we've breezed through cooking and menu planning, and managed to get mornings whittled down to only minor confusion. We even survived a week with intermittent cable TV and invisible cable repairmen.  But we met our Waterloo last weekend in the grocery store.

My close friends know that I am not territorial in my own kitchen, so sharing with my sister daily has gone well.  We generally sit and sip coffee, planning dinners for the week, establishing a grocery list for the sister or couple willing to shop.  Together, though, we've never made it past the Blessed Coffee Place when we've been in the store.  God may have been keeping us at that baby stage for a reason.

Sunday we ventured for what our husbands consider a girls night out but was merely a trip to Martins and to pick up a kid while checking on her pile-of-dirt-soon-to-be house.

First, we forgot the list at home.  It was just like a sitcom scene.  "You had it last."  "NO - You had it." Hubby R fielded the call, tapped his fingers and saved the scene.

While she's waiting for the text message, I'm working my memory and gathering things in the cart.  When she catches up to me, she points to the aisle I've already skipped.  "Aren't you going to go down this one?" She asks.

"No.  We don't have anything on the list in that aisle" I say, naively.

I had no idea those were fighting words.

There are aliens among us for whom a grocery list is merely a prop.  Something to hold in their hand while they meander through every corner and section of the store, selecting items that have little promise for this week's meals. Let's call one of them Cara.

She claims it keeps her from further grocery shopping trips.  I claim that is hogwash. NOTHING keeps you from making further grocery trips.   While her theory seems sound, it never holds water. Since Sunday, guess who has sent me for chicken one day, then onions and rosemary the next.  The meandering alien, that's who. 

To me, the grocery store, beyond the sweet ladies in green aprons who keep me sweetened and caffeinated, is a place to be endured quickly and efficiently.  The longer I am there, the more tortured and, research proves, the more money I will spend.  The list is a tool for efficiency, sometimes even organized by aisles.  I may stray off the list, but not my path. Showing up later in the week is inevitable, especially since my apronned dealer stands just beyond the automatic door, twenty steps from my other friend, the ATM.

You can not hurry a toddler through the grocery store.  Nor can you inspire hustle into a confirmed grocery store browwwwwwserrrrrrrrrrr.  "Get back here,"  she said repeatedly to me with the cart, looking confused in the beginning, frustrated by the end.  She actually whined. I actually sulked.

I was drained, spent, and saddened to learn my shopping partner was one of those people.  Swiching to low gear required tremendous submission, stuffing adrenaline aside.  Shuffling from frozen food, through dairy and on to deli, I moved slowly, painfully as she perused the selections.

At home, drinking my barista's creation, I recovered, of course.  Perhaps the drive by her future home helped.  And here is my obvious sports metaphor for the wise to share with the misled.  Grocery shopping is not a marathon. It is a sprint!

Phrases often heard in our blended house

I thought, since you are reading our blog you might've thought about what you would hear if you were a fly on our wall.  So here is a list of some terms that are used often around here.

Can you come here a minute?  -  Used by both adults and children.  Adults usually use this term to summon someone to have a conversation about a particular event (i.e., something you did or you didn't do).  Kids usually use this term when they want to show each other something gross or cool.  Sometimes kids use this when they want to talk to an adult about something serious, but not really that often.

Somebody needs to go to the grocery store-  This is most often said by a boy or man.  In other words, this is said by people that very rarely go to the grocery store or even put things on the grocery list, but never seem to be able to find what they want to eat in the house.

I know, I know, I know-  Can be interchanged with Ok, Ok, Ok - Most often used by a preteen or teenage boy, instead of actually doing what they "know" they are/were supposed to be doing.

You. Are. Kidding. Me.!!! - This one is most often used by Erin, but occasionally by me also.  I used it when M sent in the dog to sleep with H while she was trying to nap one afternoon.  I also recently used this when R told me that his G.I. recommend that he have his gallbladder removed. Oh and I used this one as an intro to what Erin refers to as a "rant", when I  recently  saw M shoveling snow on to the driveway. (M and Erin claim it is to make the piles of snow that are on the side of the driveway melt faster...why they care how fast snow melts that is not in our way at all is totally beyond me)  Erin really has the patent on this one though.  It is her go-to phrase that lets us all know there is a loud rant on its way, and if we are lucky enough to not be the one/s that she is ranting to/at then it is time to clear out.  Most recently she said this when M poured out her still warm coffee from St*rbuck*...we really like our coffee. ;)  And then again a day later when one of her children treated his calendar too "casually" and it cost her over $500 to fix this blunder. 

Girls!!! Settle doooown! -  This one is mostly mine.  If you know me, you know that rowdiness and noise are not my thing.  And for little girls in a house filled with boys and boy toys it is sometimes difficult to keep their minds stimulated. There is only so much play dough and "not too messy" crafts a girl can do.

SHHHH!!!- Again, this one is mostly mine.  Erin has mostly come to terms with the fact that boys, dogs and men (and in my case, little girls) are loud. I, on the other hand, refuse to give up the battle.  I will not give in. Cabinet doors and drawers do Not need to be slammed.  Voices do Not need to be loud when talking Right. Out. Side. a little girl's bedroom while her mother is still holding out hope that she is sleeping. And dogs do not need to be in the front rooms just waiting and watching for an innocent passer by so they can bark and growl to claim territory from no threat at all, again while a little girl is trying to nap.

Where is my.....?  Fill in the blank.  This can not be unique to our blended household.  Kids and husbands everywhere depend on their mothers/wives to know where everything is.  And this is also true in our house, as I am sure it is true in yours.  It would be really nice if the person asking that question would actually look for the item before asking everyone else in the house where it is.  Drives. Us. Nuts.

Well, there you go.  Hopefully now you can almost hear some of the verbal exchanges going on.