Our experiment is over.

Well, our family merging experiment has come to an end.  We (the four adults) decided that it was time for our families to have their own space.  My grandma's old house is sitting vacant so my aunt and uncle are letting us live there for the next couple of months, until our new house is finished.  We have been at grandma's now about a week.

It is nice to be back to our family of 5 and have a space to call our own again, even if all of our stuff is still in storage. Last week was hard...with all the moving, but we did it fast, kind of like ripping off a band-aid.  But now that we are settled in, it feels worth it. 

Of course there is plenty that we miss about being at Erin's.  B misses the dogs.  W misses the video games.  I miss the spontaneous talks with my sister.  We all miss the view of the lake.  I will have to let Erin write about what she will miss.  And we will be back often...we are here (in MI) to stay.

So now I will return to our family blog ,if you are looking for updates on us head to www.growingtheelmorefamily.blogspot.com .

We are surrounded.

There is illness all around us and in us.  Let me give you the rundown.....

H is has a UTI with fever and general yuckyness.
B now has a virus, fever, tummy issues and sorethroat.
M is still home recovering from surgery.
M's mom in hospital dealing with some minor heart issues.
E's mom dealing with some different minor heart issues.
My Aunt is avoiding dealing with health issues.
And somehow I pulled a muscle in my back.

Seriously??!

Is it really asking too much that at least 1/2 of us can please get well. 

And I am sure you can imagine that most people are not as kind, understanding, and thoughtful when they don't feel good and are in pain. 

Prayers for health and patince, not patients, please.

What are we up to now?

It seems like it has been a long time since my last post.  Mostly that is due to the fact that I just have not been inspired to write anything.  I guess things have been hectic around here too, but isn't every body's life hectic and crazy?  So I will just give you a general update, but be warned, I don't have much if anything "witty" to say.

Our house in VA is rented, this you know.  And the house we are building here in MI is coming along.  We just did the electrical walk through (I had no clue that would take 2-3 hours..literally) and picked out cabinets and some of the flooring. The contractor says his best guess is the end of July for a move in date...I pray he is right.

I have been trying to get in a few study sessions every week to be ready to take my Pharmacy Technician Exam at the beginning of July.  We also recently joined the Y and so I am trying to get in a few trips there every week as well.  School is winding down for B and W, and it is totally over for H.  Work and health are both very good for R, thank the Lord.

Our brother (Erin's step, my half) just popped in for a whirlwind mother's day visit.  Lots of fun.  M is recovering very well from a routine surgery.  Yes, that means both of our hubbies have had surgery during the last few months..interesting timing. 

So now we are all gearing up for the summer crazies.  Erin's family has soccer, soccer camps, other camps and more soccer. J is graduating in a week and returning home to his lovely and not so private corner of the basement soon after that.   For my family there is a Fathers day weekend trip to Chicago to plan and take, camps to register for, racket ball and swim lessons..and hopefully another trip to VA for a visit.  And hopefully there will be moving, unpacking, and settling into the new house going on towards the end of it all.

Edited to add...
I can't believe that I forgot to tell you that we have declared June the month of cake here.  Really just the last half of June. Starting on the 15th we have a total of 4 birthdays and Father's Day to celebrate.  I think that is an average of a new cake every 3 days....seriously.  We will all look well fed and feel well loved by the end of June. ;-)

We will not be here forever.

We found out earlier this week that our rental agency has secured a 12 month lease for our house in VA.  This is what we have been waiting and praying for.   Having a renter or buyer for the house in VA is the cornerstone on which all of our plans for our future rely upon.  We had always believed that it would work out the way God has planned.  And we had always believed that it was God's plan for our family to move here.  So having this very important piece in place feels like a confirmation that we are where God wants us to be.It is also a confirmation to all of us that we will not live here, in this house, with my sister's family, forever. 

One day, probably sometime in July, we will get to move into our new house and my sister and her family will get the whole of their house back.  The house that we keep driving by and "checking on" will one day be our home. It will have the tile and carpeting that we have picked out.  It will have our kitties.  It will be in a neighborhood filled with kids around the same age as our kids.  And it will have all of the stuff that is currently housed in 3 jam packed storage units...our stuff, stuff that the kids keep asking for, or we keep wishing we had. Erin's family will get their guest room, Lego room, and J's room back.  And they will get some peace and quiet back. 

There will be things we will miss about living together too.  But that is another post.  Right now we are rejoicing in the path that is becoming clearer.

One big (happy) family

We all made it to and fro our separate spring vacations.   Our family drove down to VA for a long weekend.  We packed quite a lot into that little getaway.  We stayed with our besties right in our old neighborhood, so the kids had easy access to friends, and R and I had easy access to down time with "Mr. and Mrs. Friends4Life".  B and W took turns spending a night at R's mom's (Nana) and a night with a friend.  We got to catch a dinner and church service with R's brother and family. We saved B's birthday bash for that while we were there, since that is still where the bulk of her friends are.  R and I cleaned some carpets in the old house, putting the finishing touch on it's readiness for rental. And I got to catch up with all my VA book club girls, they even let me pick the book and made special arrangements to meet while I was in town...so sweet. 

Erin's family also headed to warmer climates.  P went all the way to Aruba (LUCKY!) with family friends.  While Erin, M , A and a friend went to FL.  From what I have been told, there was lots of sun and fun had in both places.

In addition to our official vacations we also had a bit of a vacation from each other.  Our family leaving 3-4 days before Erin's, and Erin's family returning home 3-4 days after ours.  It was not really planned that way but it was a nice little bonus.  I know it was good for us to kind of reconnect as a family of 5 instead of  9-10.  However, I think some kids (mostly my own) are now having a hard time going back to having 4 parents.

As, family leaders, couples, or even parents, the four of us adults may not agree on everything.  We may not agree on what should be done before everyone goes to bed and what can wait til the next day.  We may not agree on how much time kids spend in front of a screen.  We may not even agree on when kids should go to bed and how to get them to stay there.  But one thing we do agree on is respect.  It is on the top of all of our priority lists.  When an adult speaks to a child, that child should respond with respect.  When an adult asks a child to do something ,even something that child knows is not top priority to their own parent, that child should do what they are asked to do.  And they should do it without arguing or complaining.  And they should do it the first time they are asked.  This concept is non-negotiable for all of us.  And so this is what we are working on this week..all adults are parents (yours or not) and therefore to be respected.

We are here for a reason.

We have all tried to find and do what is God's best plan for our lives.  This move and staying here while we are transitioning is one of those times that we hoped and prayed that we were following His plan for us.  Just in the past couple of weeks, it has become very clear to me (and I think to Erin too) that we are exactly where God planned for us to be in this moment.

About 2 weeks ago, R had his gallbladder removed.  And although the surgery went very well and he was able to come home that same day, his recovery has been different than any of us anticipated.  Physically his body is healing very well however his emotions are on a totally different path to wellness.  A much slower, painful, and unpredictable path.  The support that he requires from me is very time consuming and emotionally draining at times.  But since we are living here, not just close by, but in the same house as one of the few people in my life that knows how to support me, spiritually, emotionally, and practically, has made all the difference in the world.  Having other adults in the same house that can help meet my children's needs while I am trying to meet R's is a huge burden off my heart.  Having my sister to talk through situations, concerns and frustrations with, at the smallest available moment is priceless.  If we were not living here, she would still be a major player in my support through this, but it would just not be the same.

And now just as we are beginning to see a slight lift in my support of R.  M is in need of medical attention.  Amazing!  Now, although M is not in any pain right now, and they are not quite sure what if anything is "wrong" with him (may have just been a bad tummy bug), it is my turn to support Erin.  Hopefully knowing that someone is here with her boys, making sure that they are fed, getting to where they need to be, and not alone while their mom is with their dad at the hospital, helps to lift her burden.  Although her need for support is different, it would still be very difficult for me to meet those needs if I did not live here, in the same house as her family, especially with R still in recovery mode. 

I am here, we all are, for a reason.  God's plan is always the best.

Marathon at Martins

We finally hit our compatibility wall.  Up until now, we've breezed through cooking and menu planning, and managed to get mornings whittled down to only minor confusion. We even survived a week with intermittent cable TV and invisible cable repairmen.  But we met our Waterloo last weekend in the grocery store.

My close friends know that I am not territorial in my own kitchen, so sharing with my sister daily has gone well.  We generally sit and sip coffee, planning dinners for the week, establishing a grocery list for the sister or couple willing to shop.  Together, though, we've never made it past the Blessed Coffee Place when we've been in the store.  God may have been keeping us at that baby stage for a reason.

Sunday we ventured for what our husbands consider a girls night out but was merely a trip to Martins and to pick up a kid while checking on her pile-of-dirt-soon-to-be house.

First, we forgot the list at home.  It was just like a sitcom scene.  "You had it last."  "NO - You had it." Hubby R fielded the call, tapped his fingers and saved the scene.

While she's waiting for the text message, I'm working my memory and gathering things in the cart.  When she catches up to me, she points to the aisle I've already skipped.  "Aren't you going to go down this one?" She asks.

"No.  We don't have anything on the list in that aisle" I say, naively.

I had no idea those were fighting words.

There are aliens among us for whom a grocery list is merely a prop.  Something to hold in their hand while they meander through every corner and section of the store, selecting items that have little promise for this week's meals. Let's call one of them Cara.

She claims it keeps her from further grocery shopping trips.  I claim that is hogwash. NOTHING keeps you from making further grocery trips.   While her theory seems sound, it never holds water. Since Sunday, guess who has sent me for chicken one day, then onions and rosemary the next.  The meandering alien, that's who. 

To me, the grocery store, beyond the sweet ladies in green aprons who keep me sweetened and caffeinated, is a place to be endured quickly and efficiently.  The longer I am there, the more tortured and, research proves, the more money I will spend.  The list is a tool for efficiency, sometimes even organized by aisles.  I may stray off the list, but not my path. Showing up later in the week is inevitable, especially since my apronned dealer stands just beyond the automatic door, twenty steps from my other friend, the ATM.

You can not hurry a toddler through the grocery store.  Nor can you inspire hustle into a confirmed grocery store browwwwwwserrrrrrrrrrr.  "Get back here,"  she said repeatedly to me with the cart, looking confused in the beginning, frustrated by the end.  She actually whined. I actually sulked.

I was drained, spent, and saddened to learn my shopping partner was one of those people.  Swiching to low gear required tremendous submission, stuffing adrenaline aside.  Shuffling from frozen food, through dairy and on to deli, I moved slowly, painfully as she perused the selections.

At home, drinking my barista's creation, I recovered, of course.  Perhaps the drive by her future home helped.  And here is my obvious sports metaphor for the wise to share with the misled.  Grocery shopping is not a marathon. It is a sprint!

Phrases often heard in our blended house

I thought, since you are reading our blog you might've thought about what you would hear if you were a fly on our wall.  So here is a list of some terms that are used often around here.

Can you come here a minute?  -  Used by both adults and children.  Adults usually use this term to summon someone to have a conversation about a particular event (i.e., something you did or you didn't do).  Kids usually use this term when they want to show each other something gross or cool.  Sometimes kids use this when they want to talk to an adult about something serious, but not really that often.

Somebody needs to go to the grocery store-  This is most often said by a boy or man.  In other words, this is said by people that very rarely go to the grocery store or even put things on the grocery list, but never seem to be able to find what they want to eat in the house.

I know, I know, I know-  Can be interchanged with Ok, Ok, Ok - Most often used by a preteen or teenage boy, instead of actually doing what they "know" they are/were supposed to be doing.

You. Are. Kidding. Me.!!! - This one is most often used by Erin, but occasionally by me also.  I used it when M sent in the dog to sleep with H while she was trying to nap one afternoon.  I also recently used this when R told me that his G.I. recommend that he have his gallbladder removed. Oh and I used this one as an intro to what Erin refers to as a "rant", when I  recently  saw M shoveling snow on to the driveway. (M and Erin claim it is to make the piles of snow that are on the side of the driveway melt faster...why they care how fast snow melts that is not in our way at all is totally beyond me)  Erin really has the patent on this one though.  It is her go-to phrase that lets us all know there is a loud rant on its way, and if we are lucky enough to not be the one/s that she is ranting to/at then it is time to clear out.  Most recently she said this when M poured out her still warm coffee from St*rbuck*...we really like our coffee. ;)  And then again a day later when one of her children treated his calendar too "casually" and it cost her over $500 to fix this blunder. 

Girls!!! Settle doooown! -  This one is mostly mine.  If you know me, you know that rowdiness and noise are not my thing.  And for little girls in a house filled with boys and boy toys it is sometimes difficult to keep their minds stimulated. There is only so much play dough and "not too messy" crafts a girl can do.

SHHHH!!!- Again, this one is mostly mine.  Erin has mostly come to terms with the fact that boys, dogs and men (and in my case, little girls) are loud. I, on the other hand, refuse to give up the battle.  I will not give in. Cabinet doors and drawers do Not need to be slammed.  Voices do Not need to be loud when talking Right. Out. Side. a little girl's bedroom while her mother is still holding out hope that she is sleeping. And dogs do not need to be in the front rooms just waiting and watching for an innocent passer by so they can bark and growl to claim territory from no threat at all, again while a little girl is trying to nap.

Where is my.....?  Fill in the blank.  This can not be unique to our blended household.  Kids and husbands everywhere depend on their mothers/wives to know where everything is.  And this is also true in our house, as I am sure it is true in yours.  It would be really nice if the person asking that question would actually look for the item before asking everyone else in the house where it is.  Drives. Us. Nuts.

Well, there you go.  Hopefully now you can almost hear some of the verbal exchanges going on.

Choose Nice

I've heard it a couple times already. "I'd love to have my sister live near me, but we'd probably kill each other."  I'm happy to report that Cara and I are in agreement with the first part, but would never think to utter the second.  How do we get along so well??  Because we choose to.

We are eight years apart and grew up in seperate homes, so we're missing some baggage common in others sister pairs.  But we're also missing some of the great sister growing up memories and benefits, so we choose to have them now.

We choose to encourage each other and each other's children.  We choose to be honest -- respectfully.  We choose to honor each other's marriage and marriage partner, which luckily is not so tough because we both married great guys.

We carefully choose which conflicts to tackle and which to let go.  And when a topic must be covered because it is about character or safety, we choose our words carefully.  And to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Each of us struggles to mother our children towards treating their siblings with respect, common in homes of any size or blend.  In this laboratory of sorts the theory holds true that leading by example is effective.  Without keeping track, I can assure you that sibling issues are better now after two months of blended chaos than they were in the honeymoon stage.  It could also be that having two mothers nearby with pointy fingers and sharp tongues doesn't hurt either. Though I'd like to think it's our example that is doing the heavy lifting of that gigantic task.

It's important to us that our kids get along, mostly because it is morally right, but also because sibling relationships are the longest ones we have.  Parents bring us into the world, but often leave us in our adult years.  Our spouses join after childhood.  Siblings are there for both our early and our late years.

It's much better to get through those years of departing parents and raising cousins if we enjoy and support each other.  Much better to chose nice.

Two months in

Our families have been living in the same house for a little over 2 months now.  We have celebrated 2 birthdays ( with 2 more coming up very soon), Christmas, New Years, and Valentines Day.  A. got his drivers licence. My girls have navigated sharing a room for the first time.  The boys have volleyed for shower time in the mornings, and found each other's  personal "boundaries". 

W. 's transition has been pretty seamless.  He loves school up here.  Grades are good (not great).  Friends are plentiful.  B. is doing well too.  It took her a little longer to find her comfort zone.  Homeschooling is great for her, although she misses having friends during the day.  She is getting out to Gymnastics, Art class, and church activities and starting to make some connections there.  Her behavioral issues seem to be much more controlled as well. I think with the combination of getting her meds figured out and having more adults available to give her the one on one interaction that she has always thrived on, we have a recipe for growth and stability for her.  H., well she is 3 and all of it.  She wants attention almost all the time, but wants to do things herself.  Throws a fit over every little thing.  She is attempting to stop sucking her thumb, we are encouraging her with praise and finger nail polish, and she is doing well (I think).

It is not all a rosy picture of bliss.  We have had our challenges.  Getting B. to sleep in her own bed, on a regular basis.  The mornings...who is going to take the boys to school and why the boys can't seem to get ready on time.  Computer/video restrictions for one family but not the other.  One family allowing a boy to go to a dance and the other not.  Who does what around the house and is everyone doing "enough". 

And of course there are those things that happen or something ends up in the wrong place...then when questioned "nobody did it" or knows who did, or nobody moved it or knows how it got there.  The sad truth is that somebody is lying.  Now, what would we as parents do to this naughty child if we found out they were the "culprit" of doing whatever should not have happened?  Well, depending on the offense, maybe take a day of computer time away, or say (gasp here) "don't do that anymore".  Seriously, are these things thaaat scary? No.  So why lie?  Shame and pride.  That is all I can come up with.  Both things God does not want for us.  But they are a good way for the enemy to keep us from a closer relationship with The One who loves, forgives, stretches and encourages us.

I have a confession to make.....

I am bi-sectional.  By that I mean that I am both a Midwesterner and Southerner.  I was born here in MI and lived here til I was seven.  Then we moved to the south.  I have been living and growing up in the south for almost 30 years.   However, I was living and growing up with MI born and bred parents.  In the south I was considered by most to be a Midwesterner..and here in MI I am now considered by most to be a Southerner.

 I have retained some of each. My Southern side includes...my love (actually addiction to) of "sweet tea",....my requirement of my children to use "yes mam, and no sir"...My sister tells me I have retained some of my southern accent...I still think bar-b-que is a kind of meat not a just a way of cooking....and...Y'all is a natural part of my vocabulary.  The Midwesterner in me peeks out in these ways...."pop" is always on the tip of my tongue when referring to a drink...when I was growing up I thought it was cruel for my friends parents to require my friends to call them sir and mam...I am a meat and potatoes girl, just the look of grits (and the sound of the word for that matter) makes my tummy turn.

Being bi-sectional qualifies me, I believe, for some unique insight and liberties.  One of which is that I feel I can do a little "mash-up", of sorts.  As I have recently returned to the Midwest I have had the pleasure of hearing and whole heartily enjoying the "Pure Michigan" advertisements.  And as any good Southerner, I have a great respect for Jeff Foxworthy and his "you might be a redneck, if" routines.  So here is a "Pure Michigan-Foxworthy" mash-up for you...

You might be a Michigander if....

-when you heard about the "storm of the century" you said "there is no way it is going to be that bad"  but in the back of your mind you were trying to remember where your generator is.

-stocking up means one more gallon of milk.

-you love the feeling of your hands warming up after you just scraped the snow off your car without your gloves on (again)

-you think hearing the crunch of the snow under your feet is a stress-reliever.

-you know someone that has a snow plow attachment for their pickup.

-you drive by at least one house everyday that still has their Christmas lights up

-you know someone that leaves their Christmas lights up all year long (they just don't turn them on)

-your kids play outside in the winter more than any other time of the year.

And of course the ever popular...you use your hand when explaining what part of the state you live in.


You might like to visit Michigan if...

-you like to....hunt, fish, ski (water and snow), snowboard, boat, beaches.

So if you are not already here, come for a visit...oh wait we are living at my sister's, maybe I should check with her first.  See,  I have the Southern Hospitality with the Midwestern sense of practicality. ;)

The runaway

This morning as I descended the stairs I caught a glimpse of one of the dogs outside, in the (likely) single digits temperatures. The dog I saw was not the big springer spaniel that loves to romp and play in any type of weather, it was the little cocker that hates the snow and cold weather, avoiding it as much as he possibly can.  Knowing that all of Erin's family (at least the ones that were awake) had left for the morning, I was very surprised to find him needing to be let in.

As I let him in I noticed that he was covered in ice from his belly to the pads on his paws.  As you can imagine he was not comfortable.  I scooped him up and took him to the nearest tub for a warm rinse to release the ice from pulling on his fur and feet.  After I dried him off he promptly found a warm girl to snuggle with and a comfy chair to snooze in.

My first assumption was that as everyone was on their way out this morning, it had been forgotten, by all ,that he needed to be let in.  I learned later, that was not the case.  He ran away this morning.  He made the choice to head out into the snow and cold on a little adventure.  And since every awake caretaker had somewhere to be on time, they could not follow after him to force him to come home.  Hopefully he has learned a lesson.

I think we all can glean a little nugget of truth from his self-decided "adventure".  He gets plenty of opportunity to go on adventures. Safe ones, fun ones, ones that do not cause him pain (or alt least just a small amount of pain with a purpose)  Some even offer a benefit to others, and some to his health.  He is invited to go to Erin's in-laws for fun with other dogs and the in-law's total enjoyment and pampering of him.  He is invited to go on an adventure to the vet from time to time to keep him healthy, yes some discomfort is involved in this, but only enough that will help him live a long healthy life, and treats are always part of the deal.

Isn't it always a better adventure if we are invited to go on it, by God.  Sometimes I think we are scared we are missing out on some kind of fun, so we leave our warm, comfy, loving place to see what else it out there.  Usually we come back, hurting, wishing we had never gone there and done that, needing to be cleaned up and comforted.  He is always there with warmth, forgiveness, and comfort.  If we had just waited to be invited on an adventure we could have had a great time.  He will invite us, when we are ready.  But His adventures will have a purpose, to help others or maybe to teach us something.  His adventures may even hurt , but always for our ultimate good. 

It is good to know that even when you go on an adventure that you were not prepared for, or that you were not invited to go on, you can always go home.  He will always be waiting and hoping for you to come home.  He wants to comfort us and ready us for His plans.

I hate mornings

We are having some morning issues here in our supersized household.  It is a challenge getting all 5 males out of the house in time to make school and work on time each morning.  You would think (as I once did) that since there are 2 adults males and the other 3 are all over the age of a toddler, that if everyone sets their alarm and is efficient with their time, everything should work out fine.  I think that makes sense.  However that is not turning out to be the reality.

The reality is that W is hard of hearing so his alarm does not always wake him up. I end up getting up at a much earlier time than necessary (cause I don't have anywhere to be) just to wake him up and keep him moving. Since he has been designated to be the first (of the boys) in the shower, missing his cue means everyone is running late.  And it's not like he jumps right out of bed as soon as he realizes that he is running late either.  And neither of the other boys are concerned enough about being on time to jump ahead of him in the shower line to help keep things moving. 

The question is what do we do to fix it or at least make it better.  I am considering punishments for W for not getting up and out of the shower by his allotted time, and/or rewards for being especially efficient with his time in the morning.  Another option is, maybe W should not be the first one in the shower, since he is at a disadvantage with hearing his alarm, something to think about. 

But the question I am most troubled by is how to route out this total lack of concern for the fact that others are waiting for you to do what you need to do so they can do what they need to do.  I admit, I am , what some consider, overly concerned with the impact I have on others when they are waiting on me to do something or make a decision.  I hate that feeling.  I avoid it at almost any cost.  But a certain level of awareness and consideration for others is something I think everyone should have.

Share. Share. And Share Some More.

Growing up in separate households with an 8-year age gap meant we didn't have to really share our toys that much, much less a bathroom on school-day mornings. But roughly every other weekend we shared a dad.  Now, since his death thirteen years ago, we share memories and a little bit more.

One night during Christmas break College Dude called around 3 a.m.  While it is perfectly logical in our house of four adults and six kids who can reach a doorknob that someone is bound to get locked out, the effects of a call at that hour are shared.  Because that is how I found out about Dad.  Cara and I share that memory, living out the line that "The difference between being someone that bad things happen to or not can change with one phone call."  We both jumped out of our beds when College Dude called, meeting in the hallway in our jammies.  I diffused her worry quickly as I scuffed to the door, letting in a grateful young man.

Dad's died of a heart attack.  At work.  On a job site near DC.  None of us was near.  We really didn't see it coming.  He was 57.

So now we share his legacy.  Two outspoken sisters that keep our husbands equally shaking, maybe even spinning their heads.  If you really want to know where you stand, simply ask.  We'll tell you.  Hopefully in a nice way.

We also share his medical history.  Years before his death, Dad participated in a research study regarding cholesterol.  They LOVED him for his unique medical situation and they took care of him along the way.  I wonder now if the cholesterol meds Cara and I take are the result of Dad's participation in that research.  Now that she is here, I'm sure we'll share a cardiologist. 

The Reading gene - must be from Dad.  Our husbands marvel at the lack of household duties when there is a book to be read.  We literally buried Dad with a Tom Clancy novel.  It was in his hands, with his thumb in the middle of the book, like he was waiting for the funeral to be over so he could finish.  One of the first activities Cara and I went to this year was a book club.  We know it's in the genes, since there is more than a glimmer of it in all of our kids.  My library card is on the kitchen wall, accessible to all who live here.  It keeps busy with this crowd.

And the grief of losing a grandpa.  Dad died when College Dude was 5, Son A was still toddling with a pacifier.  Four remaining grands yet to be born.  He would have really enjoyed all their personalities, -- the stubborn ones, the ones who consider the bookstore an afternoon activity, the one who would have reminded him of Cara.  We share that loss and the wish that our children could have known Grandpa John, particularly as he grew more kind and sentimental in his last years.  He had mellowed into an ideal grandpa, but  . .

So perhaps we are making up for lost time.  Finally sharing a ZIP code, and now sharing our toys in the kitchen, nurturing what ever live doll needs attention, encouraging each other in the workout room.  We will also revel in the reading, fight heart disease and play nice, together.

"Honey, I don't think we are in Virginia anymore."

Winter has settled in here in Southwest Michigan.  It snows, usually, at least once, more likely 2-3 times a DAY.  And for my friends from the south, nothing stops, not mail, nor school, or even church activities..life goes on.  The grocery stores are not any busier than any normal day,  because it is a normal day.  I would love to say that the reason life goes on as normal is because the roads get cleared, well and often.  But I can't say that.  They are nowhere near clear enough to make this southern girl happy. 

I am very proud of myself though.  I am becoming more and more skilled at driving in the snow.  Yes! You really can drive in it.  You don't have to sit home and just watch it come down, as pretty as it may be. You just have to drive really slow. And you must pay very good attention to what every other driver is doing. And whatever you do.....never ever stop as you are going up a hill.  Although my front wheel drive van is not the best choice for snow driving it seems to be getting the job done, and I am learning where the limits of it's ability are.  Our goal is to have one 4 wheel drive vehicle by next winter.

Oh!  And one more thing that goes on as normal , snow or not, is building of houses!  We signed a contract and they are digging the foundation/basement on Monday.  We should be able to move in sometime the beginning of July. 

So you see this blog will not go on forever.

Our Combo Christmas

You might think that because we are sisters that we have spent lots of holidays together.  You would be wrong.  Because of the differing layers in our extended families, basic geography and the fact that our expectations are pretty low, we've spent very few holidays together.  As in a handful of all the holidays in the past two decades.

With Cara relocating her family here - Yippee -- we had our first combo Christmas since the year she happened to be in town for a wedding, back when I had two kids and she had none. So here's how the first combo Christmas panned out . . .

Christmas Eve.  One family headed to church, then dinner at in-laws.  The other to Indiana grandma for dinner.  The original Michigan family has a tradition of Santa making two visits.  The first is during church, when one package (always new pj's) per kid is left at the hearth.  The other Santa visit occurs while we're sleeping. With six kids in the house now, Santa doubled his early drop off.  The tradition started to ensure the kids looked decent the following morning since pictures were often a big part of the celebration.  As the pictures became less important through the years, the pj's still continue. 

Pending the merge, we assumed (silly us) that Cara's early rising, Santa-believing crew members would take the 7 a.m. session around the tree Christmas Day.  We therefore assumed my teenage boy, sleeping in crowd would take the brunchtime slot at the tree. 

But in rare teen boy form, college dude, in his new pj's, can't contain his excitement.  Son P is ready to join the early crowd.  Only Son A had to be dragged from bed where he left his Christmas cheer under his pillow instead of bringing it along.  Six stocking contents were dumped.  Paper and packaging carpeted the floor.  The dogs were happy to have double the amount of stuff to sniff. The adults had their coffee and the first combo Christmas was celebrated and over.

(How odd, though that Santa wraps the presents for one family and not the other.  Cara's Santa does not wrap.  But he does assemble! so toys are ready for play.  My family's Santa wraps, mysteriously using the same paper I use.)

Pancake breakfast was started and one Grandma arrived to continue the spoiling of all 6 kids.  Then one family headed to Florida while the other house sat.  Isn't that convenient.